yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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