So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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