Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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