Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
