Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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