I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
