I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
