We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
