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• (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD

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• (914): View more from New York

  How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!

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• (469): View more from Texas

  When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...

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• (925): View more from California

  VIVE LA RESISTANCE

  (510): View more from California

  Oh god, what now?

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