I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
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The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
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we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.