Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?