you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
