I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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