That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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