ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
