Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Success! We fucked roommates!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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