I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
