totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
