She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
