Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
