and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
