My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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