What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
