Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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