Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
