I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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