their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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