Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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