Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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