Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
