I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
