You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
