I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Green mimosas i think yes
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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