Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
