physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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