I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
