Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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