It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
