i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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