Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have aggressive nipples.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
