When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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