week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
