When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
