bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
