how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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