i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
