legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize