Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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