I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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