You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
