butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
