He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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