is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
