And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
