i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
