imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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