I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
