i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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