My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
