i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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