she woke up with a sticky ear
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
