I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
