May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
