Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
