Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize