Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
