Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
